Everyone wants to save the Whales...I want to save the Blue Jays.

I have written close to 600 posts on this here blog (579 to be exact) and one of my favorites, and according to my blog stats it is one of the most popular, is my post on how I would save Playboy magazine.

I had fun with that post because I like coming up with ways to save things people like..or once liked. So in the spirit of my Playboy post I am back with another way to save something, and this time it is the Toronto Blue Jays.

Now before I go any further I MUST say that the company I work for is affiliated with the Blue Jays so MORE THAN EVER I have to stress that these ideas are my own and do not reflect those of my employers...and while I do not work for the Jays I think they should hire me to implement these ideas cause they are all gold.....GOLD I tell you.

The reason I think the Jays need saving is simple. People don't care and no one goes to the games. This is sad to me cause I have been a fan for a long time and have many great memories at the ballpark....so much so that I can prove that I was the inspiration for the original Blue Jays mascot (BJ Birdie...but that is a story for another post) and seeing the stadium 2/3 empty is disappointing.
Ok...enough lead up...the way I would save the Jays is simple...I would treat them like a Minor League Baseball team. Now to be clear this is not a comment on their performance but rather a promotions philosophy.

In the minors teams are a little hungrier to get people in the park and some teams take amazing steps to make the environment fun. My favorite minor league stunt is "Nobody Night" in Charleston, SC where for one night no one was let in to the park (even though they had tickets) so the official attendance would be zero and instead of letting folk in they set up the parking lot as a huge event party where people could watch the game and have a good time...and no one was upset because they were apart of something cool.

If the Jays took HUGE strides to make every night a surprise people would come no matter how the team was playing or who the visiting team was. The opportunities are endless but here is a starter list of cool stuff to do.

1. Replace the two worst sections in the bleachers (that no one sits in now anyway) with Hot Tubs and sell those sections at a premium.
2. Sign Jenny Finch (Olympic Woman Softball Pitcher) because she would attract a crowd and can actually pitch...maybe.
3. During Pride Week offer same sex marriages in the out field.
4. During the Toronto International Film Fest show movies on the Scoreboard with the sound on a local radio station and if the promotion is a hit you keep doing it and call it Drive In Movie Nights.
5. Mascot Nights where anyone can get in free if they are dressed in a real furry costume.
6. Allow a few fans per game to do their own play by play broadcast from a in house frequency and people in the stands get the choice to pick their favorite.
7. Turn the outfield bleachers into a soup kitchen a few games a month.
8. Make a few games a year an event that you cant even buy a ticket to and instead they have to do cool things to get them.
9. Every person who is sworn in as a new Canadian Citizen gets honored one game a year and the swearing in ceremony can be during the game.
10. Mass Weddings in the outfield.
11. Wacky Wonder Woman Wednesdays (People dressed as Wonder Woman get in free)
12. ...and finally Dating in the Dark (Speed dating in the stands)

The sky is the limit here and the general idea is make the stands so ridiculously fun that people will talk about them and more importantly return, and return with friends.

Also and this part is obvious. If that jays really want some attention they should not only take some of these ideas but also think of the PR possibilities in hiring me to execute them. It would be exactly like the time the Twins had that 14 year old manager in the movie Little Big League or when the Cubs signed that kid to pitch for them in the movie Rookie of the Year except I am not a kid, this isn't a movie and I always guarantee a happy ending.

Jays, Call me, you have my number :)

Forget the Newspaper Industry...I want to save Playboy!

A lot has been written and reported lately about the possible demise of Playboy Magazine. There have been massive layoffs and it just seems like the writing is on the wall.

This kind of bums me out because Playboy is a very important pillar in the foundation of pop culture and without it the world may very well be a different place.

So while all other bloggers and just smart people are figuring out ways to save the Newspaper industry, I am going to tell you how to save Playboy!

...and I think it is pretty simple.

1-Drop The Naked Ladies: Everyone has heard the joke "I read Playboy for the articles". Well guess what? Playboy has launched the careers of many great writers and their articles are quite good so the foundation is there to morph Playboy into a more Details or Esquire type publication and have a more broad (yes that is a pun) acceptance. Another reason to walk away from the nudity is that when Playboy launched they were unique but now there are nudie magazines for every taste and fantasy and Playboy is just another magazine on the shelf (and a very vanilla one compared to others) but by going away from the pack they can still stand out. Oh and I feel like I should mention this...no one loves naked women more than me so for me to say "drop the naked ladies" means I really think this is the best thing and I am not saying this from a prudish viewpoint but rather a prudent one.

2-Stop with the Rear View Mirror Air Fresheners: Playboy should be a premium brand and any merchandise that bears the bunny logo should be classy and expensive. Stop making drug store perfume and disposable cigarette lighters....take your brand back.

3-Go Back to your roots: A lot of people only think of naked ladies but did you know that Playboy has a super impressive history in publishing ground breaking fiction? A perfect example is Ray Bradbury's incredible book Fahrenheit 451 first appeared (serialized) in 3 issues of Playboy Magazine in 1954. There are many other stories just like this.

4-Playboy should ask itself 20 Questions: I am making an assumption here cause I haven't read a Playboy in a decade or more but everyone I ever saw had "20 Questions" with interesting people. 12 Issues a year x 50+ years is a lot of questions and fascinating interviews sitting waiting to be re-read. Playboy could open up their vault of interesting content and start re-publishing things with historical context. This could be in a magazine format or higher end coffee table format. If this is done properly this could be a modern day encyclopedia as told through the eyes of relevant people of their day....I know I would buy it. (PLEASE NOTE - I resisted the urge to make a joke about this idea being an oral history)

5-Lock the doors to the Playboy Mansion: I can't be the only one who thinks Hugh Hefner is embarrassing and works against the brand am I? There would be no Playboy without Mr. Hefner but all he is now is a cartoon with his 8 girlfriends and pajamas and seriously should be kept out of the public eye if they decide to make the transformation I am suggesting.

I could go on and on with more changes but I am hoping someone powerful at Playboy will see this and pay for the rest :)

Playboy...call me I can make you all rich and famous again!